I was thinking today about why anyone would listen or put any stock in what I share in this blog. First because God will bring those He desires and they will chose to trust what I share or not. Next is because I am just like you. The only difference is that I have allowed Jesus to heal my wounds. I must admit that when some of the people I grew up with read this it may be strange or humurous to them. I was not a big man on campus or suave with the ladies. I might have been similar to Charlie Brown but not that cool.haha I don't know when I lost my self confidence, I think sometime in junior high school. I guess I was kind of stuck in the middle. I played baseball with alot of The Crowd but we didn't really hang together. Don't get me wrong, as popular groups go the gang at my school were pretty good. I won't go in too deep right now but high school wasn't exactly a good self esteem place for me. Starting to smoke pot didn't help because instead of face my short comings I just avoided them. Although I was pretty good at baseball I never really put in the work to at least have a chance at being great. Then I just got into a habit of quitting things. I joined the Navy to try and push myself and it helped some but I still just put enough effort in to get by. Years of failing, at least in my mind, caused more pot and other recreational drugs. After one failed marriage I slipped into years of clubbing and partying the old drugs,sex, and rock and roll.

I know this isn't exactly a special story. For twenty years I tried to find happiness and ways to fill the holes in my heart. I lost a great woman, didn't give enough or the proper love and attention to my children, and lost about any respect I had for myself. I share all this so you will know I've been to most of the places you've been. So if you didn't know how to play golf and I did maybe you would listen to me.

God saved me from myself. He gave me back my family, respect, and hope. Mostly He showed me how to love myself and that I am wonderful in His eyes. I had good parents but I had never before felt this unconditional love. I won't play the blame game for my life. I don't say that I have endured all that some of you out there have endured. But something I will state in most all my postings is that God loves you and wants you to love yourself and have a good life. I will not have all the answers to all of your questions. God does but we don't always understand them. So if I don't or can't give you a good answer blame me not God.

There are still struggles most everyday and I don't always feel like a million bucks. What everyday is though is a blessing and a chance to share what Jesus did for me. Life is more awesome than I could ever put into words.

All I know is that before I kept doing the same thing over and over and waited for something different to happen. If your tired of the same old thing maybe your ready to give God a chance, even if you don't believe in Him, He believes in you. Yours in Christ